Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize