if you like me you must not know who I am
My first STD was from a foam party
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
