i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
