brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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