yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
