Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm too high and old for this...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
