The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
