This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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