All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
