Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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