when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
PANTIES FOUND
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