I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
