Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize