$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My bed smells like the plague
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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