everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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