I got chris browned last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
