Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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