Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
