They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
