Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize