I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
