Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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