I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
