If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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