i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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