You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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