Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
