My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
