New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
