a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
