i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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