Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
