I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
