he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Farmville is her only friend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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