I got chris browned last night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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