they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
