When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
