If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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