We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
