he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize