Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
