strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize