from now on my penis is your penis
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
