i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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