I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have fence marks all over my body
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
