Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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