so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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