I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My liver just had a heart attack.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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