it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
