Already got asked if we're dating
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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