Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
