Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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