Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize