Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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