i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
