I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize