So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
