is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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