O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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