i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
