i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
