Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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