I just cut my nipple shaving
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
