I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
