I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
