I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
