Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize