Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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