The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
