So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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