i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
