yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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